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Are We Heading Towards aN HPV Scare?

5/6/2013

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PictureLots of head. Image: Austin_S
How would you feel if someone you were in a long term relationship with told people that giving you head had caused them cancer? It's a pretty shitty trade off after all, it would certainly be a great way to put a real rift in the relationship.

The massive media storm around Michael Douglas' comments to the Guardian at the weekend just shows what a great story this is from the media perspective - fame, cancer, sex and disturbing mental visuals all rolled into one icky/fabulous/tragic package. 

Another member of the Squeamish team expressed horror at the possible ramifications of the Michael Douglas story - "we don't want people to be put off cunnilingus!" Indeed.

 If you're a regular reader, then I hope you know by now that we're all about doing - or not doing - what you want, when you want, when it comes to sex. Uh, within the realms of consent and legality (and if you're not a regular reader, then go ahead and read some of our older stories. I'll still be here when you get back). But it would be a shame indeed if someone who was interested in munching rug was put off by the fear of cancer. 

It's probably important to note that Douglas' comments about the probable cause of his cancer were in response to a question asking if he felt that years of smoking and drinking might have contributed to his illness. And whichever way you slice it, those are always going to be much riskier behaviours than oral sex.
There are some quibbles over who said what in this case and exactly what it means. But let's be clear on a few things: HPV can cause cancer. There are also several types of HPV. Around 600,000 people each year are diagnosed with genital or oral cancer thought to have been caused by one of the 10 strains of HPV that can do so.  

an imagined state of purity is far more important than their health after all.

That's a lot. But many, many more people carry the virus - about 50% of people catch it within 3 years of becoming sexually active. However the virus usually clears up in 98% of cases.

Now the initials HPV might ring a bell. Because the drive to give girls and young women vaccinations has also attracted a lot of media attention. A lot of it, sadly, devoted to criticisms of the scheme from conservatives and right-wing Christians complaining that giving girls the jab would be the effective equivalent of pushing them out the front door shouting "have sex! Now! And lots of it! As quickly and irresponsibly as possible!". 

Never mind that there's no proven link between giving girls the shot and them consequently doin' the dirty - an imagined state of purity in our nation's young women is far more important than their health after all. Women dying from cervical cancer just seems to be an aside. An unfortunate thing that happens, but hey, whatcha gonna do?

Now that there's a crinkly old white man talking about how HPV made him ill, is it too much to hope for that vaccinations will stop being seen as the work of an evil leftist cabal and viewed as the life-saving revolution they are?

Or will Douglas' admission of oral sex make the anti-sex brigade lump him in with the brazen teenage hussies? Only time will tell...

Squeamish Louise
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