Hey, people...boobies. HAHAHA! Anything funnier? Anything more worthy of marking a significant amount of tweets than the word 'boobs'? Isn't the number sequence 5318008 what calculators were designed for? If you want to raise a smirk you can usually find success with some variation of the word 'boobs'. Why? I don't know they are just funny.

Boobs are absurd, no-one knows quite why they exist. My favourite theory is the flat face theory by anthropologist Gillian Bentley. Breasts became necessary as our faces got flatter, in order to prevent suffocation as our flatter faces breastfed. Although I am also fond of Henri de Mondeville's thoughts on breast placement. The father of French surgery wrote to King Philippe le Bel of France in the 14th century: "The reasons why the breasts of women are on the chest, whereas other animals more often have them elsewhere, are of three kinds. First, the chest is a noble, notable and chaste place and thus they can be decently shown. Secondly, warmed by the heart, they return their warmth to it so that this organ strengthens itself. The third reason applies only to big breasts which, by covering the chest, warm, cover and strengthen the stomach". (Quick book recommendation if you want to take your knowledge of breasts to dinner party connoisseur level read  Breasts: a Natural and Unnatural History by Florence Williams).

Yesterday due to scheduling (yes we have a schedule, what?) and general fatigue from Thatcher coverage, we didn't write about the death of former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. However yesterday in amongst the coverage of Thatcher's death, her funeral, her legacy was the news that teen czar, or Youth Police and Crime Commissioner, Paris Brown had stepped down from her czaring.

It was always going to be a tough job. Defending giving a teenager a 15,000 salary to generally teen about and update the police on teen stuff. Any job with czar in the title is traditionally difficult to defend or define. Unless you're heading up Russia in a past century.

I think now the BBC has shown how it's done. Feminists should take note and, once they have calculated their class (I got emergent service worker and now I don't know what to do with myself or who I am any more), work on a calculator to help people work out what kind of feminist they are. Or if they even are a feminist. I know, I know, it would render many a feminist commentator redundant but I also think it would make things easier for celebrity women and I'd like to make things easier for celebrity women. Indeed all women.

As I understand it the word Feminism is copyrighted. It's just no one can remember who owns the copyright, meaning all kinds of women can weigh in on feminism and call themselves feminists, such as Louise Mensch, or ascribe feminism to women, such as tampon taxing (as in she taxed them as a luxury, not put them through an incredibly trying time) Maggie Thatcher or Mary Berry, when it is patently not true. Because they said so.

Iain Duncan Smith kicked this week off with a claim that obviously he could live on 53 pounds a week. Come on, once you've taken advantage of the subsidised food and drink at Parliament, rented out a few of your eight spare rooms and flogged a few family heirlooms you're laughing all the way to the bank. Oddly, he's been reluctant to prove his claim, no matter how many people sign their names to say they think it's a good idea. And it's not as if he'd be the first - Matthew Parris famously tried and failed to live on 26.80 pounds in the '80s. Perhaps IDS was making an ill-thought out April Fool's joke and is too embarrassed to own up. Or maybe he's right and it would only be a 'stunt' to live on the same amount as some of his constituents for a limited amount of time. That got us thinking - obviously these kind of restrictions would need to be implemented for as long as an MP is in power. So if we could set some new rules for politicians, what would they be?

In these Gove-riddled times of education it would be nice to think the teachers unions were able to discuss teaching. Maybe reminisce about the days when chalk boards were chalk boards. Instead the NUT has to concentrate on the continuing problem of teenage girls continuing to be young, easily influenced and currently gyrating to the continued pornified culture: "Growing up in a world where it is normal for women's bodies to be seen as sex objects affects the way that girls in our schools grow to view themselves and their place in society."

T'was ever freakin' thus. And yet, and yetgreat novels  have been turned out by those constrained by both corsets and society. Women's rights were vindicated on paper before an untimely death in childbirth and today girls with Playboy bunnies on their pencil cases outstrip (HAH unintentional) boys in school studies.