
Boobs are absurd, no-one knows quite why they exist. My favourite theory is the flat face theory by anthropologist Gillian Bentley. Breasts became necessary as our faces got flatter, in order to prevent suffocation as our flatter faces breastfed. Although I am also fond of Henri de Mondeville's thoughts on breast placement. The father of French surgery wrote to King Philippe le Bel of France in the 14th century: "The reasons why the breasts of women are on the chest, whereas other animals more often have them elsewhere, are of three kinds. First, the chest is a noble, notable and chaste place and thus they can be decently shown. Secondly, warmed by the heart, they return their warmth to it so that this organ strengthens itself. The third reason applies only to big breasts which, by covering the chest, warm, cover and strengthen the stomach". (Quick book recommendation if you want to take your knowledge of breasts to dinner party connoisseur level read Breasts: a Natural and Unnatural History by Florence Williams).