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Age Old Insecurity

25/3/2014

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PictureImage: Ageing Concerns
A survey has revealed that women who have reached the age of 51 feel invisible to the opposite sex. Far from ignite an opportunistic crime wave it seems, from a pool of 2000 women over 50 (the number of women who participated in this survey) it appears this has resulted in a group of women of a certain age being sad and dejected. Considering on average women have an extra 5 to 10 years of living to do compared to these men who fail to notice them past a certain point - apparently due to an immune system that ages slower and probably because of that jolly saying used in the medical profession regarding men and their ability to visit doctors: 'women get sick and men die' - it's a long time to feel that you are going unnoticed. 

The women who told the survey, held by A.Vogel, that they felt their confidence had declined post 50 blamed greying hair, having to wear glasses (but boys make passes!) and finding it difficult to find fashionable clothes that suited them.

Eileen Durward, who works for A.Vogel providing support on their website and helpline, said: "The results show a worrying decline in confidence and self-worth in women when faced with the prospect of growing older.

"The world can feel very geared toward appreciating younger women, leaving those of a certain age to feel neglected or less worthy.

"These women are not invisible and neither are their concerns.

"They are often the driving engine behind many a family, juggling careers, looking after older relatives and bringing up children.

"All the while dealing with the ageing process and changes brought on by the menopause.

"They need to be supported, not made to feel washed up."

Of course the support they currently get come in the form of anti-ageing cosmetics and toiletries. It’s a confusing message when ‘Pro-age’ Dove is tapping you on the shoulder and whispering ‘Psst, did you ever notice your armpits look kind of old?  I mean I'm cool with it, but are you?'
The survey found that two thirds of women over 45 upon entering a room had felt completely unnoticed by the opposite sex. Over half felt "left on the shelf" and "judged negatively" due to their age. 4 in 10 commented that the drop in attention they received from men compared to their younger days was a factor and that they felt intimidated by younger women at social events. 

imagine what a more educated and fair ageing generation could say, could do? 

We could give these women a good shake and helpfully inform them that they shouldn't seek their self worth through the eyes of men but through something productive. Like French class maybe. Or macramé. But really, don’t we all feel a pang of recognition in this grim survey?

With Vice publishing articles On Turning 30 in which the writer (artist Molly Crabapple) states horrifying truths such as: "Age is a weapon society uses against women. Each year that you gain comfort in your own flesh, your flesh is seen as worth less. Thirty, like 40 or 50, is a demarcation line, but a particularly loaded one. Cross it, says the world, and you leave the trifling-but-addictive privileges of girlhood behind. Invisibility this way, ma'am." If this is the general feeling at the age of 30, and it is, then you know we're in trouble.

It seems that just because 40 has become the new 30 (revise upward every decade to suit the baby boomers - currently 60's the new 40 I believe) it's no reason to stop our mounting obsession with youth. Specifically though not isolated to girl youth, Crabapple explains "As an American woman, you may be a girl-gone-wild, or a biologically-ticking-40. But except perhaps for six months after your 21st birthday, your age is like Goldilocks's porridge. Too young, too old. Never just right."

If you have got to 50 there is probably something you have conquered, that you're an expert in. You have perhaps unwittingly nurtured a sophistication in some subject. Or you've just shed any figs you might have previously given. We need to present getting older as getting freer. Insouciance and aged should be interchangeable, heck we let the elderly get away with wicked racism, imagine what a more educated and fair ageing generation could say, could do?  I mean Gloria Steinem is 80, put her on the A.Vogel helpline. 

As Crabapple says: "...to be innocent was to be a victim. A woman of 30 is no longer innocent. Thank god for that." A woman of 50+ is quite someone to reckon with.

Squeamish Kate
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