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A Squeamish Confession

1/4/2012

2 Comments

 
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It’s Sunday, a day of rest and reflection. Site founders Squeamish Louise and Squeamish Kate have been reflecting on SqueamishBikini.com. They have been thinking about where the site is going, its writers and what direction they want this venture to take. After some deep searching of their hearts they have come to a decision. They have a confession to make about the site, about themselves and about the other Squeamish writers. The About Squeamish page is going to be somewhat drastically edited. Because they just can’t live this lie any longer…

Squeamish Louise worked as a management consultant until last year, when she got took a couple of days off and rediscovered the joys of being a housewife. She spends her days ironing, cleaning, baking and arranging flowers. Since she made this change she has found her life much simpler, and she is now an active member of the anti-suffrage movement, which argues that politics is so ridiculous women should stay out of it and concentrate on home-making and child-rearing exclusively. On the rare occasions she's not at home she can be found giving out flyers promoting this cause outside public houses (which she no longer goes inside because beer, she says, is the milk of Mephistopheles).

Squeamish Nicola only writes for Squeamish Bikini because of the giant squid on the home page. This reminds her of her favourite director James Cameron who, when he isn’t filming the mystery of the deep sea in his tiny submarine, is making the best films of all time Avatar (and sequels) and Titanic 3D. “The world is a better place for seeing Kate Winslet’s breasts in 3D at the IMAX”….Nicola eagerly awaits giving you the rest of her review.

Gareth, as the only man on the squeamish team, is the brains behind the whole operation. He lets his little ladies write some articles occasionally, as a break from making him sandwiches or being in the bedroom. He watches proceedings from his Executive Chair, where he sits smoking a pipe and reading the Telegraph.
Squeamish Kate, as you will see from Gareth’s new bio, is not the editrix so much as the “editrix”. In fact this whole site is a charade gone too far. Certainly too far to be dealt with in the third person narrative. What started out as a prank between me, Gareth and my girlies has got out of hand, especially as someone so revered for my honesty at any costs. Apart from when it comes to my DIY-impregnation.  Yes. It’s true. I am hard talking and fabulous columnist Liz jones.

It’s too soon for the truth about F1 Kate and Squeamish Sue. 
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2 Comments
Wendy
31/3/2012 10:56:23 pm

I know for a fact that 'sue' is a 14 year old school boy

Reply
Squeamish Kate link
1/4/2012 12:27:02 am

Well THAT'S out.

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