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A Fine Bromance?

12/12/2011

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I don't see bros making friendship bracelets
Bromance is a particular portmanteau I hate. Which is a shame because next to spoonerisms and malapropisms to create a particularly amusing portmanteau counts for high value comedy in my family. But bromance makes me think of films such as Lesbian Vampire Killers and therefore James Corden and so on and so on.

To put it bluntly bromance looks suspiciously like an excuse to indulge in homophobia and misogyny-lite under the guise of fun and beer games. To live the Miller High Life as it were. But let’s not just take my word for it, what does Urban Dictionary say? According to the site a bromance: “Describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males”.

The site BroBible.com is very anxious we don’t confuse a Bromance with any other kind of ‘mance. Just in case you do, they are taking a stand against the new smart phone app Bromance. The app allows Bros to find other men in the area who are interested in shooting hoops, high fiving or playing pool. The Daily Mail, The Guardian and BroBible.com have noticed this set up sounds awful familiar.

BroBible is very anxious the Bromance app does not become the closeted man’s GrindR.

If the app takes off, it probably will, but I highly doubt the terms ‘Bro’ and ‘Bromance’ will be encompassed by palare* and so what if it is.

What’s interesting is the interest in male friendships. We have a new name for it, bromance. How does bromance differ from the Working Men’s Clubs  or Gentlemen’s Clubs of old? Sure, the conversations might have changed and the locations certainly have, but male friendships have always been well facilitated.

Whilst bromances are being hyped and praised women’s friendships are being scientifically tested and the results are in. Sorry ladies, we can’t be friends, we’re just too gosh darn bio-bitchy.

I can’t find much content praising the joys of Sisterhood. No Sisterhood slang being invented, granted 'Sistance' doesn’t quite trip off the tongue so easily.

A Canadian study has been published in the journal Aggressive Behaviour stating women are naturally ‘bitchy’. “University of Ottawa professor Tracy Vaillancourt’s research supports the idea that women do engage in intrasexual competition through the use of aggression.”

Just as all male species do in order to attract female attention; females vie to be noticed by males.

Citing, inexplicably, reality TV show The Bachelor in the study because the competition, “often leads them to gossip about a rival’s level of promiscuity or disparage her appearance, so as to reduce her ‘mate value.’ Professor Vaillancourt’s study demonstrates that this type of behaviour is not only a TV phenomenon, but also a reality in our schools, workplaces, etc.”

Professor Vaillancourt and her fellow researchers carried out an experiment which involved female reaction to a woman dressed in conservative attire and then sexy attire.

According to Vaillancourt’s ‘Bitch Scale’ the sexy attire had participants maxing out the scale. “Women in the sexy condition were rated as being bitchier”.

Competition amongst men is seen not just socially acceptable, but even healthy. For the allegedly nurturing sex this is plain bitchiness and is being received by the press as a reason why women can’t be friends.

But is that a biological response or conditioned? We grow up with fairy tales that consist of ugly sisters, envious wicked stepmothers and the lone beauty. All the lone beauty needs are some woodland friends and a nap before a handsome prince will come and save her.

Of course even though us women are apparently constantly bitching each other out, at least we don’t live under the shadow of lesbian accusations (no homo). Surely we can bond over that, sisters.

Squeamish Kate

*Pedants, this acceptable spelling is chosen because I’m an incurable Morrissey fan. 
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