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Oh The Horror! How to survive a Monster Movie Marathon

23/10/2012

2 Comments

 
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Image: William Warby
I love horror movies. I enjoy the creepiness, the faces I pull and even hiding behind my hands - just a little bit. My favourite cinema in London, cult movie mecca, The Prince Charles Cinema, already had one Horror pyjama party that I missed, so when the John Carpenter All Nighter Came along – my chance to sit back and scream had returned from beyond the grave!

Weirdly as a horror fan, John Carpenter was unknown territory for me, I had managed to miss all the monster movies (is The Fog a monster?) and Kurt Russell laden action he’d had to offer over the years. Halloween was nearly scrapped from the line up and that ultimate teen slasher movies absence was enough to make me wonder: “Do I really want to risk deep vein thrombosis for films I don’t even know?” But I’ve always liked turning up to a film when you don't know too much about it – you don’t know what to expect, a bonus in the horror genre. When Halloween was reinstated to the line-up, opening the night’s event, it was a done deal. Let’s see if I can survive 10 hours in a chair in a red velvet lined basement with my pal Pete as my trusty sidekick. Here is my Horror Movie Marathon Survival Guide...

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Horror film fans gather outside the cinema
Say “You’ll be Right Back” aka ( “I’m just off to the loo, watch my stuff!”) –My movie going buddy Pete is less ten commandmenty about film watching, so he was missing 2 minutes of each film with no feeling of remorse whatsoever. You see, the second cinema going commandment I have is ‘Thou shalt not pee during the film.’ This means you have to be quick during the breaks between the films. You don’t want to end up in a massive queue for the loo. Sadly this tactical toilet break broke my fourth commandment ‘Thou shalt watch the credits roll’. It’s OK, we pretty much know John Carpenter and Debra Hill were doing lots, so up I dash down the aisle before the lights even have a chance to turn on. Best bit of Halloween – Dr. Loomis looking very pleased with himself for scaring a small child. Thank you for the memories Donald Pleasence.

Drink after The Witching Hour –Not that I have to be drunk to have a good time but it certainly make you more vocal as you and about 100 others cheer the classic lines Kurt Russell deals out from start to finish of Big Trouble in Little China. Unfortunately, the polite and very efficient lady at the Prince Charles’ basement bar told us: “The cinema didn’t apply for a late licence this time because last time all people bought was Red Bull and Coke.” So blame the people looking for caffeine-induced heart attacks before the 11pm alcohol curfew. By 3am our beer was flat but I was still alive and drinking - which was the main thing.

Rise from the Dead – Three films down and I feel like I’ve just escaped from New York myself. OK, so unlike Snake I’ve not trying to save the President of The United States, wrestling people in boxing rings or climbing up walls. I’ve just been sitting down, but for, like, ages. My lower back is not what it used to be. If I was survive this self inflicted entertainment marathon I was going to have to stand up! Everyone gets out of their chairs and heads towards the velvety red walls to, I guess to lean it out. Pete and I, having all the space in the world after bagging front row seats, shake it out, stretch a bit and do a teeny little lap from our seats, to the wall and back to our seats again. I feel like the film geek version of Mo Farah. Half way through the marathon and I think I'm going to make it to the end! 

Sugar is your Fiend/Friend – Just as Kurt Russell in The Thing was finding it hard to know if his work colleagues were friend and foe, my love affair with my sugary truffles and beer was heading for danger. I stuffed my face with chocolate and was most certainly drunk by this point. The sheer surprise of seeing a dog’s head turn into a giant bloody teeth filled red oozing flower thing got me WAY over-excited. Thanks to my glucose guzzling and the sights on screen I was pulling faces and jumping up and down in my seat. Alas, the sugar rush could not last and while the film’s bright white Antarctic snow helped to keep me awake, I was certainly flagging towards the end of the exhilarating gore-fest and 80's special effects love letter that was The Thing. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

Don’t Freeze to Death - About 5 films in, for unknown reasons (pirate spirits from The Fog) the temperature plummeted and I was as colder than a refrigerated corpse. The Fog had swept over me and there was no hope in sight. I longed for the blanket my friend had suggested I take from her house. I had to keep going! As They Live  began I sat up straight wrapped my scarf around me and hid under my coat peering out from over the collar. They Live was funny, violent and kind of thought provoking come 6am in the morning. As I questioned society's ideals, two men pummelled each other on screen. Then hypothermia set in and I died. Or more accurately - I fell asleep. Oh the horror! I was enjoying that film and the odd contact lenses the love interest seemed to be wearing for no reason. Pete saw it all. Damn him. I woke up just in time for the explosion filled ending, then I clapped and whooped with the crowd, made my way out of the darkened basement screen and into the light. Oh yeah, it was morning, I had made it!

Along with my fellow horror movie geeks I took my position outside the doors of The Prince Charles Cinema for The John Carpenters All Nighter Survivors Photo. We had started the night shouting out a line from Big Trouble in Little China. “I know, there's a problem with your face.” At half seven in the morning, after staying up all night, there certainly was. 

Squeamish Nicola attended an all-night JOHN CARPENTER MARATHON featuring; HALLOWEEN, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA, ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, THE THING, THE FOG & THEY LIVE at The Prince Charles Cinema

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2 Comments
Gareth
22/10/2012 07:13:00 pm

Whoever chose that line up of films should hang their head in shame!

A John Carpenter horror* themed night that doesn't include a showing of In The Mouth Of Madness? Carpenter doing Lovecraft should have had pride of place - it is without a doubt the best movie he's done since the 90s and probably deserves a spot in the top 5 films he's ever made. It is a bizarre Chthulian masterpiece and deserves a lot more praise than it gets.

Prince of Darkness should also have been on the billing - although it drags at points (no more than Big Trouble in my opinion) it has some truly terrifying moments and a cracking ending.

Mind you if they wanted to create a truly terrifying night they should have just put on Escape From LA and Ghosts Of Mars and locked the doors.

* what was the theme? If it was monster movies Halloween had no place being there as Michael Myers is a man, and if it was horror then Big Trouble had no place there as it is a comedy.

Either way Escape had no place on the schedule, although I understand why they'd put his most famous film on the billing.

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Squeamish Nicola
23/10/2012 12:17:59 am

It wasn't reeeeeally billed as an Monster Marathon - I just like alliteration and it was a metaphorical monster as in BIG! A big long movie marathon. I guess people just love Kurt. The people wanted Kurt. They gave them the Kurt.

Pete was trying to tell me Assault on Precinct 13 belonged in the line up - as horrific as the events in that film are and as awesome as it is, I thought it was a stretch to class it as horror.

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