I hate people who don't turn their phones off at the cinema - the floodlight glare of other people's iPhones is abhorrent. The rage that flows through my veins is probably akin to the bloodlust of a vampire. My viewing experience is tainted by a large and ignorant cinema audience. You can imagine how pleased I was to turn up to a near empty midnight screening of What We Do in the Shadows the mockumetary about a den of vampires form one half of The Flight of the Concords Jermaine Clement, and who I can only imagine is his best bud, Taika Waititi. I now want to be his friend and I want you to watch this film they have written. All I knew about this film is stated above was from the poster. A bunch of vampires sitting in an old house below some taxidermy and a staircase. My mind jumped straight to Tim Burton's Dark Shadows revival. I never managed to make it through that even though vampires were a staple of my teenage years. The angst of Buffy, the camp of Bram Stoker's Dracula and the MTV comedy-gore-Corey fest and that is The Lost Boys. Of all the people who want to know about the trials and tribulations of being on of the undead it is me.