This is a subject I know nothing about. Or much about. I like pugs, not babies. To me a pregnancy is still 1) accidental and 2) the beginning of the end of any rock and rollness. Just as I thought as a child, just as I thought as a teenager and as a young woman. I realise that, thankfully, I am pretty much alone in this attitude and plenty of women can dredge up a sincere smile over a pregnancy. Theirs and/or their friends and family.
This attitude does not stop me from understanding the terrible feelings of isolation, failure and grief a miscarriage must cause for those affected.
Two of the contestants playing the gods' game Expectations Mr and Mrs Smith had experienced miscarriage before. To convey the couple's closeness they had a special high five. They also would cross their fingers for luck whilst looking at each other, saying "and toes!"
And I realised why some couples yearn for a baby so much.
The other pair playing the game was a dance teacher and her gay flatmate. An accidental pregnancy (it's interesting to note that were this a play about abortion it would - I believe - be called a crisis pregnancy. Language and circumstance is a funny thing) from one last encounter with a feckless old boyfriend resulted in Scarlett Hunt and her flatmate deciding to keep the baby and bring it up together.
Of course, they don't. This being a play about miscarriage. Instead Amanda's flatmate witnesses the humiliation Amanda puts up with from hospital staff, who refuse to take into account her knowledge about when she conceived and ask her to sit in the waiting room, a cup of her own hot piss in her hand, until her name is called.
The play addresses all kinds of questions and, while not quite there yet, is definitely thought provoking. Whose business is it when a woman begins to miscarry? When do you decide to try again and when do you decide to stop? Who decides these things? And where do you go from there?
Expectations is playing at the Pleasance Theatre Tuesday 5th Sunday - 24th November 2013 - Tuesday -Saturday 7:45pm and Sunday 6:00pm