The subject of miscarriage is not one to be taken lightly. According to the charity Tommy's while it is hard to ascertain an accurate figure, out 1 in 7 recognised pregnancies end in miscarriage, while the incidence of spontaneous (unrecognised) miscarriage is estimated to be 50% of all pregnancies. Paying homage to the old 'if you don't laugh, you'll cry' writer and actress Emma Deakin has written a play on the subject of miscarriage, Expectations directed by Stella Duffy. Expectations deals with the subjects of miscarriage, unplanned pregnancy, IVF, bodies and gay best friends (yes a bit in the style of a Madonna film with Rupert Everett) that allows for both laughter and tears.
Part set in a game show, Expectations, held by Greek gods (I think they were Greek gods, I interpreted this to be about how pregnancy feels like it is in the hands of the Gods - my boss who I saw it with had no idea what the zygote I was on about when I told her that one though) with interludes showing the lives of the 2 pairs taking part in the game, hoping for the big prize. A healthy pregnancy. Instead, through the nonsensical rules of the game the seeming arbitrariness there seems to be with both getting then keeping a foetus in the womb till birth without incident or tragedy.
This is a subject I know nothing about. Or much about. I like pugs, not babies. To me a pregnancy is still 1) accidental and 2) the beginning of the end of any rock and rollness. Just as I thought as a child, just as I thought as a teenager and as a young woman. I realise that, thankfully, I am pretty much alone in this attitude and plenty of women can dredge up a sincere smile over a pregnancy. Theirs and/or their friends and family.
This attitude does not stop me from understanding the terrible feelings of isolation, failure and grief a miscarriage must cause for those affected.
This is a subject I know nothing about. Or much about. I like pugs, not babies. To me a pregnancy is still 1) accidental and 2) the beginning of the end of any rock and rollness. Just as I thought as a child, just as I thought as a teenager and as a young woman. I realise that, thankfully, I am pretty much alone in this attitude and plenty of women can dredge up a sincere smile over a pregnancy. Theirs and/or their friends and family.
This attitude does not stop me from understanding the terrible feelings of isolation, failure and grief a miscarriage must cause for those affected.
| Two of the contestants playing the gods' game Expectations Mr and Mrs Smith had experienced miscarriage before. To convey the couple's closeness they had a special high five. They also would cross their fingers for luck whilst looking at each other, saying "and toes!" | And I realised why some couples yearn for a baby so much. |
It struck me that these aren't the things a couple usually does. Or not in my experience. Why would you? You might have a funny anecdote that gets condensed into a one word or action in joke. But bigger gestures? The "and toes" thing. It seemed implausible, why? Why can't couples do stuff like that in my opinion? That is a family thing. These things come from parents trying to comfort, and then humiliate as they get older, their children. And I realised why some couples yearn for a baby so much.
The other pair playing the game was a dance teacher and her gay flatmate. An accidental pregnancy (it's interesting to note that were this a play about abortion it would - I believe - be called a crisis pregnancy. Language and circumstance is a funny thing) from one last encounter with a feckless old boyfriend resulted in Scarlett Hunt and her flatmate deciding to keep the baby and bring it up together.
Of course, they don't. This being a play about miscarriage. Instead Amanda's flatmate witnesses the humiliation Amanda puts up with from hospital staff, who refuse to take into account her knowledge about when she conceived and ask her to sit in the waiting room, a cup of her own hot piss in her hand, until her name is called.
The play addresses all kinds of questions and, while not quite there yet, is definitely thought provoking. Whose business is it when a woman begins to miscarry? When do you decide to try again and when do you decide to stop? Who decides these things? And where do you go from there?
Squeamish Kate
Expectations is playing at the Pleasance Theatre Tuesday 5th Sunday - 24th November 2013 - Tuesday -Saturday 7:45pm and Sunday 6:00pm
The other pair playing the game was a dance teacher and her gay flatmate. An accidental pregnancy (it's interesting to note that were this a play about abortion it would - I believe - be called a crisis pregnancy. Language and circumstance is a funny thing) from one last encounter with a feckless old boyfriend resulted in Scarlett Hunt and her flatmate deciding to keep the baby and bring it up together.
Of course, they don't. This being a play about miscarriage. Instead Amanda's flatmate witnesses the humiliation Amanda puts up with from hospital staff, who refuse to take into account her knowledge about when she conceived and ask her to sit in the waiting room, a cup of her own hot piss in her hand, until her name is called.
The play addresses all kinds of questions and, while not quite there yet, is definitely thought provoking. Whose business is it when a woman begins to miscarry? When do you decide to try again and when do you decide to stop? Who decides these things? And where do you go from there?
Squeamish Kate
Expectations is playing at the Pleasance Theatre Tuesday 5th Sunday - 24th November 2013 - Tuesday -Saturday 7:45pm and Sunday 6:00pm
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