Derby Crush! Image: Squeamish Kate
Last week I wrote about roller derby being under consideration by the Olympics for inclusion as an Olympic sport. Did I sound like I knew what I was talking about? I think I’ve hammered it home in various posts how I am not a sporty person, I was an arts student and it shows in my language. I don’t have job interviews, I have auditions. I don’t point out those runners training; I shudder at the idea of rehearsing at 6am. Those people sitting in the stalls? Sorry stadium. Why, that’s the audience not spectators. Basically what I am trying to say is this: I don’t play sport and I don’t watch sport.
On Saturday I think I got tricked into watching a sport. I don’t know what you call a write up of a sports event, so I’m calling it a review.
On Saturday I think I got tricked into watching a sport. I don’t know what you call a write up of a sports event, so I’m calling it a review.
Ok I wasn’t tricked; it might have even been partially my idea to go. I have begun and dropped various plots to be involved in roller derby. Join a team? Too dangerous. Train a team? Too dangerous, don’t know all the rules. Referee roller derby? See last excuse.
Being part of the audience was my only option. Even that can potentially be iffy if you go front row. At Saturday’s bout, Brighton Rockers vs London Rollergirls Batter C Power there was a sign announcing to those in front that they might have the best view but they were also in what’s called the ‘suicide seats’ and they were taking their lives into their own hands by choosing them. I suppose for some people a girl on roller skates careening towards them is their thing.
The Brighton Rockers had produced a programme explaining the rules and I explained them, ish, in my last derby story. Because the only sport rules I have read outside of roller derby is, uh, quidditch I think I was under the impression the jammers needed to be tiny and spry like a seeker (oh you totally know what I’m talking about) and the blockers all beefy and tall.
On the Brighton team Rose Bleed (team captain), Chariots Sophia, Shambolic, all suited my idea of a jammer when they took on the role (or position – if you will). Small, fearless and fast, with worryingly slim ankles. Then The Mighty Mighty Bash put on the starred helmet and I realised I was wrong. Seems ankles and height have nothing to do with it, if you’re fast and good at dodging you can be the jammer.
Being part of the audience was my only option. Even that can potentially be iffy if you go front row. At Saturday’s bout, Brighton Rockers vs London Rollergirls Batter C Power there was a sign announcing to those in front that they might have the best view but they were also in what’s called the ‘suicide seats’ and they were taking their lives into their own hands by choosing them. I suppose for some people a girl on roller skates careening towards them is their thing.
The Brighton Rockers had produced a programme explaining the rules and I explained them, ish, in my last derby story. Because the only sport rules I have read outside of roller derby is, uh, quidditch I think I was under the impression the jammers needed to be tiny and spry like a seeker (oh you totally know what I’m talking about) and the blockers all beefy and tall.
On the Brighton team Rose Bleed (team captain), Chariots Sophia, Shambolic, all suited my idea of a jammer when they took on the role (or position – if you will). Small, fearless and fast, with worryingly slim ankles. Then The Mighty Mighty Bash put on the starred helmet and I realised I was wrong. Seems ankles and height have nothing to do with it, if you’re fast and good at dodging you can be the jammer.
The Mighty Mighty Bash speeds along as lead jammer Image: Emma Barnard-Harris
As I said before and have really driven home now, I’m not someone who watches sport and I wasn’t too clear on the rules of derby. There was the occasional hand signal I was unable to decipher and unfortunately the venue of the derby crush has really bad acoustics. The minute by minute commentary was unintelligible so I might have missed some important fouls or fun facts. My ears and I apologise.
The venue also seemed to only have about 3 songs to play, it’s not that I don’t like Green Day but I can only listen to Brain Stew so many times. Same goes for Joan Jett.
In spite of all this I think I have finally found my sport. Not just because the team I was supporting, Brighton Rockers won (unofficial score 224-192) but because it’s exciting, involves gum shields and everyone is clearly having an awesome time.
I found out afterwards one derby girl fractured her finger, another her fibia. As far as I could tell there was only one injury sustained during the bout. These girls are tough, but we already knew that.
Squeamish Kate
The venue also seemed to only have about 3 songs to play, it’s not that I don’t like Green Day but I can only listen to Brain Stew so many times. Same goes for Joan Jett.
In spite of all this I think I have finally found my sport. Not just because the team I was supporting, Brighton Rockers won (unofficial score 224-192) but because it’s exciting, involves gum shields and everyone is clearly having an awesome time.
I found out afterwards one derby girl fractured her finger, another her fibia. As far as I could tell there was only one injury sustained during the bout. These girls are tough, but we already knew that.
Squeamish Kate
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