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Friday 5...Power Moves

23/1/2015

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PictureDon't cry over your power suit
According to ELLE magazine (or rather an ELLE writer whom Caitlin Moran fears is dead inside): "Crying is having a bit of a feminist moment. There is an entire female reclamation of tears happening online, where women who have been told for years that to cry in public - especially at work - is to lose all credibility are now flaunting their waterworks." This is the first we have heard about this, other than Tina Fey saying that crying "terrifies everyone" which is not the same as saying crying is feminist. ELLE goes even further to say crying is not just feminist but a POWER MOVE. Is it? We investigate...

1. Crying in public is NOT a power move. I have cried in public many a time. At the cinema, on the tube, in the street. It's all fair game and I don't care who sees me if I'm crying because that's what I gotta do. At work however there was an epidemic of crying due to some work politics and it just brings everyone down. Go to the toilet. It has a lock and if work is stressful or causing you to lock yourself in the bathroom more than someone with a bladder infection you need to talk it out not cry it out. Squeamish Nicola

2. The best power move I know is to jump twice, crouch twice, step to the left, then the right, then left again, then right again, make the sound of a sheep, select a goal and then you are ready to start your day. I find it gives you 30 times more energy than you had before. Gareth

3.  Is crying a power move? I suppose it is if you're a kind of spoilt kid who fake cries to get their own way even though they are far too old to be crying like that. If you are an adult, who is also far too old to be crying like that, who can say? I once burst into tears in a meeting when it was suggested out of the blue I take on my recently resigned manager's responsibilities, with no salary increase. I had already been suckered into that when someone else had quit and the thought of taking on three jobs, all of which I hated, caused hot angry tears to roll down my blotchy cheeks. Whilst I did have the element of surprise here it did not work to my advantage and I handed in my notice the next day. Was it a power move? Well I did exercise my power each time someone from my old office had to call and ask where things like PRINTER INK or STAMPS were. BWAHAHAHAHABOOHOO.Squeamish Kate

4. Hahahahahahahaha no. You want an office power move? I'm afraid it's as simple as increasing your fitness by exercising more, or improving your diet by cutting out crap. The number one office power move is to kick ass at what you do. Suck up to your superiors effectively by never questioning their whacked-out ideas in public. Blitz your performance reviews by doing your job well. Sell yourself as a team player by volunteering to train/mentor newbies. Work hard, don't make waves, and results will come. Dull but effective, I'm afraid. F1Kate

5. I have a horrible feeling that 'is X the new power move' is going to become the new 'is X the new black?' What is a power move anyway? Does crying make you look powerful? Not the way I do it, which tends to involve a blotchy red face and a total inability to control my voice. But if I was doing that sitting in a penthouse on a stack of paper money sadly toying with the controls to the city's power supplies like some sort of super villain then who knows? Let's just redefine power moves as doing whatever we want. Not brushing my hair is my new power move. Snapping at people because I haven't had any coffee or breakfast and it's morning is my new power move. Apologising and buying someone a croissant is my new power move. I can keep this up all day. Squeamish Louise
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