Yesterday was voting day. Did you vote? Did you go in knowing exactly where you were going to place your X? Did just hope you'd have the option of the Monster Raving Loony party to vote for? Or did you look at the list of parties ("Oh Nina, what a lot of parties") and candidates and spoil your ballot for want of someone to vote for? Well, this might finally be the Friday 5 for you. We have come up with a list of people (animal, vegetable, mineral) who we think should consider entering politics. Start an online petition if you agree.
1. It has long been my ambition to enter politics myself. This is purely so I can stand up in a completely formal fashion, address the Speaker and my fellow MPs and thenflick the bird at them all and at PMQs sincerely as the Prime Minister: "What's your favourite colour?" However I am unlikely to be voted on purely for my own amusement and therefore I nominate Kermit the Frog. Why? Well I think he'd follow in a long line of puppet MPs. But mostly because I think it would be really funny to see Kermit cracking out his wavy arm gestures in the House of Commons. Again, this is all for my own amusement rather than the good of the people. Squeamish Kate
2. I would like to be able to vote for someone I agree with totally AND who has the conviction, charisma and clout to make massive changes. However, as that feels like an almost absurd fantasy, perhaps it would be better if I could just vote for a labrador. Of the canine variety. My day is unfailingly improved by encountering a dog (again, labrador for preference but I'm not hugely fussy) on the street or train. Encountering a politician has never improved my day. Could I vote for a labrador to come round and let me play with it for half an hour a day? Please? Squeamish Louise
3. If it were possible to raise the dead without creating a ghastly Pet Sematary situation, I would put my paternal grandmother in charge of everything. She was one of those diminutive Scottish women who rule hearth and home with an iron fist, inspiring love and fear in equal measure. In a granny-led world, we would all be eating our vegetables and washing behind our ears and on our best behaviour so that we would be allowed access to the cake tin come tea time, elevenses, or that vital pre-bed hot chocolate and cake meal that I only ever had at granny's. There would be discipline, shined shoes, and far too many Yorkshire puddings. F1Kate
4. It's getting harder and harder to tell the difference between the major parties as they keep fighting over a smaller and smaller middle ground, offering tiny variations on the same policies. They are also media trained to never show emotion, deliver the same sound bites and appear barely human. I wish real life was more like The West Wing where charismatic paragons of virtue are more interested in doing the right thing and fix the problems of the world than furthering their careers or setting up a cushy seat on some multinationals board of directors after they've finished with this political lark. Gareth
5. I feel like there is someone I have been championing for a while to be in politics but I can't think who. I know actors are also side stepping into a career behind a big desk, ready to champion their views on how the country should be run. I don't want glamour though! I think I'd want someone who was friendly but disciplined and who would teach the British public to share. From the sounds of it my first ever teacher Mrs Smith is an ideal candidate for the job. Squeamish Nicola
2. I would like to be able to vote for someone I agree with totally AND who has the conviction, charisma and clout to make massive changes. However, as that feels like an almost absurd fantasy, perhaps it would be better if I could just vote for a labrador. Of the canine variety. My day is unfailingly improved by encountering a dog (again, labrador for preference but I'm not hugely fussy) on the street or train. Encountering a politician has never improved my day. Could I vote for a labrador to come round and let me play with it for half an hour a day? Please? Squeamish Louise
3. If it were possible to raise the dead without creating a ghastly Pet Sematary situation, I would put my paternal grandmother in charge of everything. She was one of those diminutive Scottish women who rule hearth and home with an iron fist, inspiring love and fear in equal measure. In a granny-led world, we would all be eating our vegetables and washing behind our ears and on our best behaviour so that we would be allowed access to the cake tin come tea time, elevenses, or that vital pre-bed hot chocolate and cake meal that I only ever had at granny's. There would be discipline, shined shoes, and far too many Yorkshire puddings. F1Kate
4. It's getting harder and harder to tell the difference between the major parties as they keep fighting over a smaller and smaller middle ground, offering tiny variations on the same policies. They are also media trained to never show emotion, deliver the same sound bites and appear barely human. I wish real life was more like The West Wing where charismatic paragons of virtue are more interested in doing the right thing and fix the problems of the world than furthering their careers or setting up a cushy seat on some multinationals board of directors after they've finished with this political lark. Gareth
5. I feel like there is someone I have been championing for a while to be in politics but I can't think who. I know actors are also side stepping into a career behind a big desk, ready to champion their views on how the country should be run. I don't want glamour though! I think I'd want someone who was friendly but disciplined and who would teach the British public to share. From the sounds of it my first ever teacher Mrs Smith is an ideal candidate for the job. Squeamish Nicola
RSS Feed