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Consensual Sexbomb

18/10/2014

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PictureTom Jones
My first Tom Jones encounter was in the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air via the famous Carlton Banks dance. The next was watching the disappointing film Mars Attacks and then out came the album that had everyone taking Tom Jones seriously again - but in an ironic way, yeah? Plus it appeared the Welsh crooner (I'm contractually obliged to say that) was in on it. Reload featured all the right people in 1999, The Cardigans, Cerys Matthews, Robbie Williams and the Stereophonics (did I mention it was 1999?) all made an appearance on the album. Suddenly we all loved Tom Jones again and since then he's allowed himself to go grey (so wise!) and portray himself as a mentor in the music industry. Some of us, it seems love him a little more than others. 

The usually incredibly cool, calm and collected presenter Kirsty Young said at the Radio Festival in Salford that Tom Jones had been one of her favourite castaways on the BBC Radio 4 show Desert Island Discs and commented on his sexual magnetism: "I cannot tell you how much [he radiated sexual magnetism]. I was grateful I was interviewing him in the autumn of his years, because God knows if he had walked into the studio 30 years ago, I would not have been responsible for my actions. He pulsates sexuality in a way that is probably unfair...He has an animal magnetism and is very at home with himself."

Fiona Elvines from Rape Crisis said: "If a man would have made these comments there would have been an uproar."

Now, of course three things can be taken from that quote. Firstly: Kirsty Young! Who'd have thought it? Secondly a lesson we all should learn but spend our time unconvincingly telling bored teenagers instead 'it really is what's inside that counts - the happier you are with yourself the more attractive you will appear'. Thirdly it is one of the rare incidents in which sexism has worked in a woman's favour. 
That is not to say what Young said was sexist, but that had a man made such a comment there would have been uproar rather than amusement and columnists revealing they too feel the same way about Tom Jones, partly due to his sexual past. 

We find these comments amusing because it seems implausible that anything would happen without the man involved's consent

Why is Young's comment any different from the classic 'if I was X years younger...' line? Because while yeah it's a little iffy - a much older person is after all saying they find someone young enough to be their child, or grandchild attractive there is an autonomy there. They aren't going to do anything about that attraction now, other than maybe make you feel a little uncomfortable. Also, hey if you are interested then there's your in. 

However Young's comments, while equally redundant in current action are unsettling because they imply that being caught up in attraction and passion cannot be held responsible for their actions. Young speculated that Jones must be a "killer in the sack". We find these comments amusing because it seems implausible that anything would happen without the man involved's consent, enthusiastic consent should the woman involved be Kirsty Young I imagine. 

What I mean is that it is seemingly ok for Young to say this because the rule is that men like sex and it is funny for young to say this because the other rule is women don't. Ha-ha, a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality? Pull the other penis. 

We are, therefore, back on more comfortable feminist grounds. The reception to Young's comments is sexist because it dismisses her desire. We can return to our usual topic of how we express attraction, without making people feel unsafe. Or our other topic, how we stop being attractive being at the top of our personal agenda... 

Squeamish Kate
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