The Cool Girl, also known in the '90s as the ladette, is also evidently Lone Girl. Ditum seems to intensely dislike her and Flynn is apparently hostile. Ditum continues: "The problem is that the Cool Girl doesn't do these things because she likes them: they're just the tokens she deploys to show men that she can move in their world without disrupting the gender order, because she respects the man code."
some people just don't fit in anywhere and boys often provide a retreat, whatever your size, diet or penchant for anal sex.
Ditum describes her frustration with feminists who identify as sex positive, who discuss porn without an agenda to end it. Her annoyance at women who don't mind catcalling, who explain "That's got nothing to do with men using street harassment to put women down in public, itâs just because feminists have taught you to be afraid". The Cool Girl pisses Ditum off for bringing up whore stigma - only male abusers endanger sex workers. Personally I think we've stepped beyond Cool Girl philosophy, which as I understand it is mostly about being hot, burping and drinking beer with the boys, and creep into what the women with these beliefs call intersectional feminism.
The sad truth is that some people just don't fit in anywhere and boys often provide a retreat, whatever your size, diet or penchant for anal sex. The so called Cool Girl will often tell you she prefers the company of men because, rather than struggling with an apparent man code she escapes women's judgement. Rather than compete she refuses to participate. And that's a problem because we need her voice. So instead of criticising the Cool Girls, or the Women of Colour who say we aren't listening, or silencing trans* women or dismissing sex workers, which we unthinkingly do because we don't relate, we should search our feminist hearts to find what we are doing wrong.
The unfortunate result is that with this Cool Girl slur piece Sarah Ditum unintentionally comes across as not practising the "kindness of feminists" she yearns for.